How do I get my fiance more involved with the household choirs?

[Amy N]

We both live very hectic lives I work full time and go to school full time and he works 60 hours a week. Does anyone have any tips I have tried talking to him about it but it seems to do little good. His idea of clean is far different then mine. Wife's how do you get your hubby involved?

 

[squealy68]

I like your wording..... how about singing lessons..... heehee. Sorry, couldn't resist that one!

 

[fluffernut]

Do them together. For example, he moves the furniture and vacuums, you dust, clean windows, etc. Work in the same room together, that way you can make sure he's still working and not sitting on his rear end someplace else. When he's done, you move onto another room together.

 

[mosaic]

Ha! Good luck.. when you figure it out let me know.

 

[Killer Klingon]

The guy already works 60 hours a week, give him a break. But if you really must know try trading chores for sexual acts. I guarantee that this incentive will work.

 

[Lew P]

Try not doing them that way we the sink is full of dirty dishes hopefully he will see it and do them. Or better yet his clothes need washed and he does not have any left. This might take some patients on your part to let things get messy. Or you could try tuning your self into what he likes. Check out http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/ and see how he responds.

 

[buffster06]

Just sit him down and say " Honey I know you work alot of hours and I am busy w/ school and a job- so it is 50-50 right?" Then say "marriage is meant to be 50-50 so I am asking you if you could PLEASE lend a hand around here when it comes to cleaning, at least pick up after yourself, put dishes in sink , wash them if your not overly tired etc...maybe vacuum or sweep the floor if it needs it? It would make it so much easier for us to spend time together if I didn't have to do it all myself!" And sweety I wish you more luck than a leprachan could give you with this- but if you can't get him to help NOW he will never do it after your married! Make sure you say Please alot!

 

[Madame M]

Check out the Flylady site for ways to streamline household routines (she's a cleaning guru who used to be a slob). Sit him down and talk to him. Recognize that with your busy schedules, sometimes everything won't get done. Make a list of everything that is important to both of you. Some will be him only, others will be you only and some will be important to both of you. Split the both pile, and take on the ones that you care about.If that doesn't work, threaten to get a cleaning lady in once a week. Then follow through -- you deserve a nice home, and if a cleaning lady is what it takes, you should do it! Even if it means no new car or whatever.It's a good idea to figure this out before you get married, though. How you compromise on this issue will give you a hint on how future disputes may be resolved -- and if it turns out you can't talk to him, then what does that mean for your future?

 

[lady_daizee]

men are kinda like puppies. they work for rewards. you should consider the types of work that needs to be done daily/weekly, etc. Figure out which chores he seems to do fairly well. (trust me... he will never do it as good as you would have, so you gotta pick ones that he gets kinda close) Then you make a little "honey do list" for him. Keep in mind that typical guys will do bare minimum, so if its not on the list, he's not gonna do it. Then, you ask him in the sweetest way you know how to help you with a couple things. (again...trust me, if you complain, whine, b!tch, yell...he wont do it) When he asks what you want him to do, you tell him that you wrote a few down that you thought he was really good at. when he says yes, you smother him with hugs and kisses. More hugs and kisses whenever he does a chore. Always show appreciation even if he didnt do the greatest job. Usually, the more you give in love, kindness, support and appreciation...the more you get in return. So...to sum it up...ask sweetly, reward often. He will come around. Dont worry. Most puppies, when well trained, become wonderful companions.

 

[p2of9]

Good luck. I've been married for 2 years, and I still haven't figured it out!

 

[starrwoode]

forget it , you are the wife, and thats why they marry you, for housecleaning, cooking and sex,

 

[samhbane]

Darling, If you work full time and go to school full time, it sounds like you put in just as long a work week as he does. Secondly, it should not matter if you work or go to school or not. His hours don't count either. Taking care of each other is exactly what both of you signed up for and not a contest to see who can do the less for the other one. Now if talking has not helped, have you tried crying a little. Any common bastard that does not succomb to tears from his lady just ain't worth the trouble that you are going through. Forget the others advice about withholding sex. It is easier to get sex than it is to run the vacumn so those advisers are just a bunch of kids that seem to not have any idea of life. Talking then crying and then give him the boot. Life is to short to live with someone whom does not respect you. There are just thousands of men out there that know how to treat a lady, both in and out of bed. It just sounds like you deserve better.

 

[brina l]

Stop doing them untill he helps!