How do I know if my husband still loves me ( a lot to read, Im sorry)?

I've asked about this before, but I was so emotional that it didnt come out so good. There is a lot 2 it so I'll try 2 be brief. I love my husband so much, hes given me 2 wonderful kids and a life I never dreamed I would have. I would do everything 4 him. We both do not agree on daycare so I am a stay at home mom. He co-owns a business with his father. Business has picked up so he is home more. I do my best 2 keep the house picked up. My kids are 21 mo & 6 mo. The oldest is in the "terrible 2s" stage. The youngest is teething. In other words, they have been quite a handful lately & Ive had a hard time getting things done. He used 2 gripe when he came home because he said I should let the kids scream a bit & get something else done. But when hes home, he wont let them scream. He practically demands me 2 cook 4 him, even though he doesnt like my cooking, & doesnt understand why that makes me not want 2. He doesnt like the fact that I decided 2 start a home college course. Thinks its a...waste & I wouldnt use it in the future. He never looks at me. He never touches me. When I ask him a Q, he snaps at me. He gets mad because I play on my computer, usually I only do when hes watching something on TV Im not interested in. He gives me $300 a week 4 groceries, diapers, etc. He set that amount. I didnt ask 4 it. I just told him I hate having to ask 4 money from him if I need it. If I forget something at the store, he thinks I do it on purpose if its something he wants. I go 2 the store with both kids, sometimes screaming, hes lucky if I get anything & come straight home instead. He will watch my oldest 4 me, but wont watch the youngest. Wont change diapers. Wont take out the trash, or odd jobs 4 me because he says its MY job. He snaps at me if I ask him 2 pick up something he left out. Says its MY job. We've been going 2 counseling, I think Im the only 1 trying. What have I done 2 this man that he pushes himself away from me? I try talking 2 him, nothing works.I cant have anymore kids so thats not an issue at all.One more thing, hes not as young as me, hes 10 yrs older to be exact. He used to know alot of girls, and i\I constantly ask him why he chose me out of all them if hes going to treat me this way. I do everything for this man! I love him, I really do, but how do I know when enough is enough if Im the only willing to work at this relationship? We've been together for going on 5 years now. He seems to favor our son (the oldest) over our daughter. He will do anthing with him but only hold her if I ask him to. I just really dont know what to do anymore. We live in a fairly small town and I dont have a lot of friends and the ones I have find it hard to hang out with me because they dont have any children of their own and are not married. I just dont like hurting anymore, but really dont want to put my kids through a divorce. I never knew my father, I dont want them to have any notion of not knowing theirs.
 

Jossu C

New member
My choice would be to ask him for a little conversation.Tell him how u feel, maybe he will understand you. Good luck ;)
 

Luckystar

New member
it not about love it about respect he has to understand that youare at home with 2 young children. he should not expect thateverything should be done when he get home . he need to helpyou as well. and for the cooking if he does not like your cookingthen tell him to cook his own dinner, then see how thing goeshe need to respect you more if not this will be a problem downthe road.
 

piepiepie

New member
Sounds like a jerk who doesn't like independent women. Starting your college course puts the amount of control he has over you at risk. His criticism keeps your self esteem low, so you are less likely to realise you don't need him. No doubt when your youngest child is a bit older, he'll want to knock you up again. Keeping you pregnant and taking care of young children stops you from getting outside the home too much and will probably stop you from finishing that college course. He doesn't help around the house even though he's got time. This too shows how little he cares for you and his family. He's insecure and I doubt he ever really loved you or wanted a family instead he wanted a cook, a maid and someone to feel superior over.
 

Donna

New member
OK for one your young still, having babies that age would put on stress on any one, after couple years together you get in this rut for get about each other, you need to find a out let that you can do together and remember what brought you together in the first place. some times it not that they forget you but they get involved in work or other things. as far as you going to school he want to be stay at home mom , that OK but talk to him about what if some thing happen you need go work . you need to be up on your game in the working world . just talk and try listen to each other that the most important thing in life. with out you loose site over each other. from women that know it most about family be fore any thing else. work and school will always be there , yet 2 people become one is not always easy to have
 
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