This is long but I need your opinion PLZ!?

LiL Momma

New member
My fiance has two jobs at the moment to help pay for his child support to his ex wife. He works close to 90 hours a week. I work part time, and I hate it, but right now it's the only job in this small town that I can get that will work around our schedule, I have to take him to work, pick him up from work, take him to his second job and pick him up from there when he is done with that job. Anyway, we have a 10 month old daughter who is teething. So for the past 3 nights she has been super fussy and we're trying to help her feel better, but to no avail. I told my fiance that in all the 10 months our daughter has been alive, I have only asked him to get up in the middle of the night probably 5 or 6 times. And when I do he gripes the entire time. But now that he has this second job, he doesn't feel that he needs to help me out with her at night at all! She does really well usually, except these past couple of days, I mentioned that it would be nice for him to offer a little help, and he..blew up at me saying he works too F'ing much to have to deal with this crap, and I only work part time it shouldn't be a big deal if I loose sleep and he went on and on about it. I was furious, because for one, I have Bronchitis, for two, I NEVER ask him for his help at night, it's really rare that I do. Then last night he got up to hel pme look for the Oregel for the babys gums, and I told him thanks for his help, and told him to go back to bed, then he yelled at me again saying I could make up my mind, He's like do you want to me stay up and help or not!? I told him I just needed his help, he helped or tried to, and now he could go back to bed. By the end of this fight at 2:00 in the morning, I wound up telling him he could get out of the F'ing house, he said if he did he'd never come back. I'm still so upset at how he had handled the situation, especially since we had a similar discussion the previous day about when our daughter is so fussy that he should help out a little bit.My question is, how do I get over my anger? And second, why do you think he acted like that? He acts like taking care of a baby isn't a full time job as it is. Anytime he watches her and I'm at work, I come home to hear him complain about how difficult she was. What should I do about him. This whole situation is angering me so much!
 

Manduh

New member
If she's teething give her, a sookie, or orageloragel works really well, they make a cute little face right after taking it, then they just forget its there.Your fiance should try to help when he can, because you're helping him.By looking after your baby, & picking him up, and dropping him off to work.Maybe he just wants to relax for a little bit after work, then ask him for some help afterwordskeep the oragel in your purse, & remmber its there . & scratch that .. if he thinks he can not help you & just sleep while your up taking care of your baby .. tell him he can leave, & see how far he gets without you .. he could be working 4 jobs if it wasnt for you sticking around you know ..
 

thea_nj

New member
i think you should talk to him . or just quit your part time job so you can take care of the baby. but he should really help out too. it's also his child. oh and when you talk to him i suggest don't yell coz sometimes men get angry and they might hurt you . be careful!
 

bear

New member
My opinion guys are all like that & have been for years! They make the money we take care of the kids! Even if u had the 2 jobs he stay & watch your child but as soon as you get home all responsibility is right back on u! No matter how long & hard your day was or is! Same goes when u r sick they get the world & cry worse than thekids when they r sick but when it is u forget it be thankful for a can of chicken noodle soup! I think that is why females are much harder workers then most men! Remember this is only my opinion! Just suck it up it is harder bein a single mom but in the long run u will always be closer w your children than him!
 

dheck03

New member
sounds like you need to get things under control, kids can be a chalange try reading to your child before bed time it is a fun way to spend time and gets the kids sleepy while there in bed, she should be old enough to understand some kid books ...good luck
 

Pocahontas G

New member
I ...I think maybe your man is tired due to "a lot of work", or maybe just "stressed" or perhaps he feels "pressure"...I'll make u a confession. I come from a long line of latina family and ... in our culture, we "women" do all the home work, it includes taking care of the kids and men 24/7.Sometimes I think "if we could change it".We definitely "enjoy" cooking and taking care of everything and everybody, our home and families are our "first priority" in life. But honestly it feels "like heaven" when they ( men of the family) give us a hand on that. It is perfecto to share responsabilities "equal", at least once in a while.Talk to him about it, how u feel.G. Luck then.
 
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