Matahari

New member
We have 8 months old, extremely active child. I am pregnant againg, 11 weeks, and I am feeling terrible. I am very sick all day long, exhausted, but I can't take nap, because the baby only takes two naps, half hour each and he is teething now, so he is up every hour and half or so at night. I can't take it anymore, I am so tired that I actually dropped my son yeasterday. I was just too weeks to hold him. My husband has two jobs, he leaves at 9 AM and is back by midnight. Is up to him if he will go to the morning job, every morning he calls the guy he works for and tells him whether or not he is coming that day. We don't even need the money so badly, because all he makes in the morning go to the savings. He usually has two days a week off, but in the past two weeks he decided to work on his off days. I told him many times how exhausted I am and asked him if he could stay home at least one morning, because I get no sleep {he can't hear the baby at night!!!! He just don't wake up evenif the baby is screaming for hour}. And he does't get it. I need to rest for a bit, I am so tired I can hardly walk and now I am really mad at him, because he won't help me!!!!!!!! We have no relatives around and no friends with the kids, so noone else besides him can take care of our son.Mosaic, I could handle him pretty well before I got pregnant... You can never predict whether your pregnancy will be easy or hard. And it was not an accident, I wanted to have two kids that are close to each other, I know the first year is hard, but then it is much easier. Plus my husband wasn't like this before I got pregnant again {which was his idea in the first place}
 

Jenny

New member
He's hiding from the responsibility and leaving it all on your shoulders. Maybe that extra money he is making during the day could pay for a baby sitter that can watch your 8 month old for a couple hours a day so you can get some sleep. Try to make friends, join a church (or something social), build up a network of people around you. You are already learning it is hard to count on him. Good luck. Stay strong. You will get through this.
 

umannjo

New member
What a jerk! Hide his car keys. Let him know that he is GOING to help you one way or the other.. After you have this baby.. don't let him have sex with you until he starts helping out with the kids.. he's got time to screw you but not time for his kids? That's B.S.. OR take some of that money from savings.. and hire a Baby sitter / Daycare a few days a week.. See how he likes that.Good luck!
 

Gemini

New member
Then see if you can get a nanny to help you out even 1 day a week. Specially if your son is in danger,by you dropping him!!!
 

mosaic

New member
You need to tell him not ask him (if he's simply not responding to you) when you need him to be there. Don't forget that he's probably exhausted too. I wonder why you chose to have another child when you can't handle the first one? There is birth control you know.
 

mmmkay_us

New member
use some of the money he's making to take your child to day care give your self a break day care can help even if it is part time
 

ABBY

New member
sit down and talk to your husband don't let your emotions bottle up inside cause it is just doing harm to you, your baby that you are carrying, and to your relationship, let him know your feelings and emotions
 

gfrog82

New member
Hmmmmmmmmmm? ever heard of birth control? you knew how your husband s work hours were prior to the 2nd pregnancy. if you are so well of take you r kid to daycare so you can get your beauty rest. Maybe he should get the little princess a nanny? Your husband works TWO jobs to support your ass, i guess you expect him to do the housework and cook, because you are sick and tired, Sorry no sympathy.
 

gia00601

New member
I had a similar situation and it broke us apart and I know how you feel and there is no other way to answer this question by really sitting and talking to your husband about the situation. If you don't get some rest you may lose you unborn baby due to stress and it's not healthy. If he still can't understand then have a family member watch the baby for a day and you sleep no cleaning or anything just relax. I wish you the best and please don't let the stress broke your relationship. Good Luck. P.S tell him you dropped your son due to the lack of sleep and you are weak and unhealthy.
 

green_clovers66

New member
If you are sitting at the computer now, who is watching your son? If the second job isn't needed and it is extra money, why not hire a sitter for three hours a day to come in and help out??
 

Hammy

New member
He's working two jobs to provide for his family and you are complaining. Nice. Why don't you hire someone to come in and help out a few hours a day. Then grown up and show you husband some respect. He's working 16 hours a day for petes sake.Oh and guess who'll still do the exact same things she does now when she breaks up her marriage over this kind of stupidity?
 

Lisa

New member
How about hiring a Mothers Helper? For a few dollars you can get a teen aged girl to come over and give you a hand. Go to the local paper and put an ad in. Advertise for a responsible teen with babysitting experience. They do need to be certified and check their references. Allow her to get to know your child before you leave them alone. A couple hours a day would be sufficient to allow you to catch a nap and make you feel much better.
 

LilSunbeam

New member
Ok sweetie, welcome to reality....life with multiple children. It sounds like your husband might be tired also, he is working quite a bit. Why not hire a babysitter, even if she comes to the home, to help with the little guy during the day so you can rest? That seems like a pretty simple solution to me and you say you are putting money in savings anyway so you can obviously afford it. Dropping your baby is pretty serious, how much more of a wake-up call do you need?
 

joey322

New member
find out his next day off and leave the house before he does. make sure he is up to take care of the baby and then tell him that you need ONE day to yourself.tell him that you have written down what to do with the baby and you will be at "x" location.then, check yourself into a hotel and sleep the day away.you need this and obviously he's not understanding that. that means you have to just TAKE your day and not let him go to work.then, once you come back home, you can sit down and talk about how hard things have been on you and work out a way for him to help you more.tell him that you understand he works alot, but so do you! and sometimes you just need some solid sleep.so, make a deal that "x" day will be YOUR day and he'll take care of the baby from morning til night and you can sleep or whatever you need to do.i wish you well sweetheart. take care. and gosh, if i could, i'd shake him and choke the heck out of him until he realized he was being a daft prick!
 

undone

New member
Its good that you recognize that you need some help. Since your hubby cant be there, you need to get some outside help. Hire a babysitter( even if it is for 4 or five hours a day, you could sleep while the sitter is there with your babe). OR use a good day-care parttime until you are feeling better. Also, I dont know how much time you are trying to spend on other home chores ( like cleaning and cooking). Drop those things back to the bare minimum and SAVE YOUR STRENGTH for you and your babies ( BOTH of them). You dont need a spotless home or a 5 star home-cooked meal every night right now. Maybe call your Dr's office as well, tell them what is going on and see if they have any good advice. IT WILL GET BETTER ( thats the mantra of all MOms :) )
 
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