What should she do... cheating husband?


New member
friend's husband is cheating, says he wants a divorce. Seems he can't accept that with a baby priorities have to change. He's seeing a chicky he works with, and is apparently smoking some wacky tobacky (not confirmed, but suspected) She doesn't want to be the one to file for divorce, because then he could claim to be a victim... that she left him. Which he would do. Cuz darn, being pregnant, then having a premie baby, then the baby teething and working FT she's occasionally too tired for whoopee. Darn her. What do y'all think she should do?A few more details... He has refused to go to counseling, she has been going. It seems to really **** him off. He also is still denying the affair... but the behavior pattern is obvious. She hasn't denied him sex completely, he just hasn't seemed to understand that baby's needs needed to come first ... for both of them for awhile.


New member
I think she should get a free consult with a divorce lawyer and get the real facts. He is a selfish pig and any idiot could figure that out, including a family court judge.She should file first for temporary custody, child support, and divorce since drugs and extra-marital affairs are both justifiable grounds for divorce.He can SAY he will do anything, but with a divorce lawyer, he can't legally do diddly. She is right to leave. Make sure she isn't sleeping with him or risking baby number two in the meantime. Kick him to the curb.


New member
She should just file for a divorce........he's no way going to be able to convince anyone the "he's" the victim.She's the one with the kids, and in need of his responsibility......but he's too busy messin' with a girl from work.........if she's serious, she should just go forward......


New member
She should file first with her claims of infidelity the first is usually the victim. Get has ass out she nor the baby needs the negative energy. She has to do what is bet for her and the child


New member
I am sure he is dissatisfied with a lot more than just sex. But the lack of sex is the primary reason for infidelity.He's still a big jerk, however and she should go get a really good lawyer. Any advice we give could be wrong.Honestly, though... in life, there are a few immutable facts. You die, you have to pay taxes, you have to earn a living and you have to meet your spouses needs or they inevitably go looking. I am not saying she is a bad person at all... She does have a lot on her plate, but men treat sex like a woman treats a mans income... if it isn't there... it can be a deal breaker. I say this so that when she does find a decent guy, she knows how to keep her relationship as solid as it can be.That said, this guy doesn't sound like the kind of guy you would want to join yourself with anyway... she should move on with her life.


New member
no, he can't claim to be the victim...because he actually left her...first...cheating is just like leaving your spouse...same thing...it's just the paper (marraige certificate) is what says you are still together...she is the victim...tell her to get a good lawyer...and the weed smoking...she can bring that up in court...as well...that makes a parent who is unfit...=(...the vow says..."forsaking all others"...so, she is the one who is the victim...!


New member
maybe he is not ready to accept the responsibilities of a married man which automatically involves been a father too.i think she should just take things easy and take everyday as it comes


New member
She has a lot on her plate, but she needs to figure out what SHE wants. If she wants to remain married, she can ask him to go to counseling to try to repair the marriage. If she wants out of the marriage, of course she should file for divorce and not be concerned about what he may claim. She knows the real deal. My heart goes out to her. Give her a hug for me.


He would have to prove he is the victim, which more than likely he can't. But she can prove that he is commiting adultery, by taking pictures or maybe you the friend can for her since she is trying to work and raise their baby. If you can't or won't do that then make sure she has witnesses to his infidelity that would be willing to be their for her if it does go to divorce court. If she wants a divorce from him then she should and you should support her. If she chooses to forgive him and stay in the marriage then you should support that decision too. Don't try to talk her into something that she may not want. It has to be her choice and hers alone.