Im having fights with hubby because of mother in law?


New member
my mil will do things to my baby i disaprove of, like rub some wine or liquor on her gums becaus eshe is teething, and i know she will spoil my kid rotten with junk food, she even warns us.I told my hubby its his responsability to tell his mother that is wrong! I cant seem to tell her no, i dont want her to hate me, she keeps saying she raised 3 kids and that if they turned out ok then her decisions must be good.HOw can i deal with this? My hubby is getting tired of me whining how i think her ways are retarded. (she even told me to fake it and tell my obgyn that i couldnt hewar the baby move so she would induce me and have the baby earlier) I feel shitty and cant seem to tell her no. I dont want her to hate me


New member
she's going to keep treating you like a child if you keep acting like one! it sounds bad, but you have to stand up to her. it's only going to get worse. your hubby should support you in this.make sure you (and your hubby) are mature about the whole thing, go talk to her. explain that you understand that she raised 3 kids, and that she is a good mother, but no one raised her kids for her. yes you'll make mistakes, all parents do. thats how you learn. make sure your husband backs you on this 100%. if she see's him faulter she'll see her chance to work him to her side. funny how it seems like a battle strategy, but you have to make sure she understands that YOU are the mom, and SHE is the grandmother above all. only then can you two work on your friendship.


New member
You know what you need to do is confront her mother-in-law and explain that while her kids turned out ok that you are the parent this time around and you will do what you believe is best for your child. You may be the type of person that hates confrontations but for you child you must do this or otherwise it will only get worse as the child gets older. Been there done that only it was with my mother, and I can't tell you how bad things got until I learned to put my foot down.


New member
well if you get some anbesol for your baby she should not have an excuse to put liquor on her gums anymore. and if you stood up to her and stand firm on what you say then she may respect you even more for standing up for yourself. the reason she does these things is because you never speak up.


New member
my in laws butting in caused the break up in my 1st marriage. you and your hubby have to move away far from all in laws so you can make your own decisions and your own mistakes and learn together. its the only way to assure your unity.


New member
You are mom. You hold the reigns of the child. If wus hubby cannot stand up to mom you need to. Tell her old ways are obsolete now and it is your choice how you raise your child. Tell her if she wants to see her grand child she better listen to you. She does not have the right to make decsions for your child. Only you do. do not let your mother in law take over. If you do your marrige will not last because of it. Just stand up and tell her in front of hubby that you in no way want these things done to your child nad if she cannot comply she won't see the child period. You can do that you are mom. Make that known. Who cares if she doesn't like that. Who cares if she doesnt like you. You are mom not her. As for the alchohol on the gums of the infant while teething-in her defense on that one-i have a 16 months old-it was the only thing that eased his pain and toned down the fussing. It doesn't hurt them. Also to help in teething- rub pure vanilla on gums-it speeds the cutting of the tooth process. It works. Mom in laws are valuable for helping with child rearing advice. You just have to make it known advice is fine-it is your choice to use it or not.

Debbie G

New member
I don't mean to be harsh But why was it left up to your mother in law to take care of the babies throbbing gums.? She was only giving her pain relief,when needed.Perhaps next time you can beat her too it,with some teething gel, show her what it is and where it is. Explain to her if you are not there at the time apply that instead. I see your point but the child was suffering and she helped. However you and her need to sort some stuff out because your reacting. As said earlier, stand up for your self (respectfully) so you are given it.. Good luck try not to stress out to bad. Every one suffers otherwise

Maggie girl

New member need to be a woman and stand up to this lady. She sounds crazy and shes trying to be your childs mom. Just say STOP ALREADY!

janice d

New member
Well you can have a mother in law who gets angry at you (she probably wont to tell you the truth), or you can have a husband that hates you because you whine all the time.


New member
If your husband wont back u up, which he should considering this is your marriage and your child it is time u stood up to her once and for all. tell her she is overriding your authority with your daughter and that she is not the mother of this baby u are and that u will do what u think is good for the baby. also to tell u to fake contatctions so u could be induced earlier could of caused harm to u and the baby , i hope u didnt do that. tell her u did a good job with raising your family but now it is time for me and my husband to raise ours and be a grandmother not a drill sargeant. my mother in law butts her nose in our life all the time, but we finally had enough and i told her to keep her nose in her own home and stay out of ours. she didnt like it but she eventually got over it. dont let her mother your baby she wont hate u if u stand up to her she will be hurt for a while but trust me she loves that baby a whole lot and she will come around . be firm and stand your ground...


New member
You'll need to talk with your husband once again, reminding him of the marriage vow he took: "forsaking all others" - "others" means his mother. He must take your side on this; no other way will work - this is something you cannot handle on your own.You also need to discuss her actions with your child's pediatrician; some of what she's doing is absolutely NOT in your baby's best interests.Tell your husband what the doctor recommends and remind him that the two of you are responsible for this baby. Then, keep talking - calmly! - to him until he takes action.Your mother-in-law's feelings might get hurt, but your main concern must continue to be your baby's health and well-being. She's an adult; she'll get over it eventually. In the meantime, your baby will thrive.You can do this!


New member
if your husband isn't going to speak up and it really is against your beliefs then you need to speak up since your kids cant speak up.........if your going to get a divorce still then let your opinions be known


New member
Quit making DH the bad guy in this. You need his support because this woman is his mother but if you aren't willing to take a stand with her how can you expect him to? You need to be equaling willing to say "no" on your own. My suggestion is to sit down with him and come up with some rules on how you TWO are going to raise your children. Then either one of you can say no whenever your MIL does things that you don't agree with and know that the other person is going to back you up. But it doesn't help if he says no and you go all wishy washy once his back is turned. Grow your own backbone, too.And hey, a lot of research has been done to improve the lives of babies and children since the time that she was a mother. You might point that out sometimes.