Will I become who I was before?

In the time I've been watching this kid, I've already changed so much. I spend no time on studying religion and philosophy and more hours then I can count worrying about colds and teething. Instead of shopping for art, I am trying to figure out toddler shoe sizes...The way I do everything has changed, and I am wondering what will happen when his mom takes him back...I am not sure I will feel right just going back into my normal life..this has become the new normal. I know that I am not ready or wanting a family of my own soon...I dont know what I think right now. I want to live my fun, care-free life, but thoughts of family keep creeping in...and it is more awful because neither the guy nor girl I like is attainable...I cant even date let alone have a family! I am so confused. Someone help me get my head back on straight, please?

When I first graduated college, I took the only job I could find. Nanny to an incredibly rich family with three kids, who were at the time, 11, 7 and 3 weeks.This was not a job I wanted as I've never really liked kids and I figured these would be spoilt brats.Anyway, the parents went away a lot, sometimes they would be gone for a while, and the kids were my responsibility completely, school, bathes, homework, everything.The kids and I grew incredibly close, I loved them as my own. I was the one that kissed them when they fell, I was the one helped with their homework, I was the one that gave them a hug every morning at the school gates.I started to worry after a year and a half that I wouldn't be able to leave them, even when a position opened up in a company that I trained for, I ignored it and made excuses.Eventually though, I met and fell in love with my hubby and he wanted me to move in with him. I couldn't give up my whole future for these kids, so I resigned.It was hard at first, but I still visit them once a month and occasionally babysit over a weekend, and I adapted. You will too, once things go back to normal, you will adapt back to where you were. You'll always have a special place in you heart for this little one, but you'll learn to let go.Just know that they'll be fine in the world without you and that you can still visit anytime you want and you'll be fine.